Well, It was another very long day at the Cancer Institute and it was proving to be very interesting.  While Mark and I sat in the waiting room, I got a strange little feeling that I sometimes get and I said to Mark " I think that I feel a sense of dread is here" or something profound like that.  I really wanted to get the Barney Fife look and yell ""Andy! let's get out of here!" Weighed in and had lost 1/2 pound, then it was the blood drawing room.  Once again the nurse wanted to access my port for the blood draw and once again she had same issues as last time except this time she could not  get the needle to flush.  She said we have bad port karma. (Well, I just came against that comment in the  name of Jesus)  After the second stab (I shall call it stabbing from now on in stead of poking because she decided a 1 " needle would be better -really!, seriously!, again!) she finally decided to call one of the chemo nurses next door to come assist.  1,2,3 and it was in.  Nurse one still had to take my  blood from my arm because apparently I don't like to give blood from my port.  Probably because it all drains to my lower extremities when they start talking about a 1' needle.  They are wonderful ladies and I really do feel badly that I seem to cause them challenges in this area.

The weird thing though,  while the first nurse was trying to get needle in port to draw the second time, I had to look away and try to go to a different place because the tears started to betray my fragile state of mind.  I managed to keep them in my eye sockets for awhile with my head tipped back but out they came dripping down my newly made up face...damn! Mark handed me a tissue and poor nurse S felt bad.  It had nothing to do with the pain and I can't even tell you why all of this emotion came over me. Big baby!

Next stop is back to the waiting room until the blood work gets to Dr. M.
Dr. M explained that my screwed up thinking is from the chemo and asked Mark to watch me to see if I am depressed.  Mark said that I am very busy and don't just sit around, I am all over the place, moving slowly sometimes but still doing volunteer work and blah blah blah. Dr. wants me to stay active but to take it easy...the two do not make sense to me but ok.

Also, here it comes....this was my last chemo for about a month so that my body can get rested up for the bi-lateral mastectomy.  I will then have chemo once a week for 12 weeks followed by radiation.
Friday I have an appt for a cat scan.  Looks like I have these 2 huge jugs of vanilla flavored goo to drink.

When we left Sletten Institute, both Mark and I were exhausted. They had added another bag of something to my whatever you call that holds up the chemo while it drips into me and I slept quite abit while I was there.  I barely remember Colleen and Kaitlyn being there. We got home about 5 and I slept until 7:30!  I think Mark finally woke me up. This morning I am a little slow and I feel sort of drugged (which I really don't like, but it may just be Gods way of telling me to take it slow today...slow does not mean sitting around for me however :)

We are absolutely loving the comments posted from all of you. Sort of like getting mail with out going to the mail box .Face book messages are great as well as e-mails.  Snail mail is nice too.

Dr. Winslows nurse, Laurie, will call me today and schedule appt to discuss when I get mastectomy.
Today I go in again for my shot that I get after every chemo treatment and then I will go across the way to the breast cancer support group for newly diagnosed ladies.  I will gather strength there for this journey.

Keep you posted on what goes on...Love you all and Gods blessings to you