Another one bites the dust!
As usual it was a very pleasant experience in the chemo 'suite' today. Mark and I joined the young man that I spoke about a few blogs back and his wife. She waved to me and commented on my hair. They seem like a very sweet young couple. He was sleeping and I joined him in slumber a little while later. It seemed to go very quickly today and I felt almost sad as I was leaving. Waaa, I will miss Nurse Deanna and all of our laughter. I will still be in same building for my radiation treatments so I can pop in and say hello ;)
I am feeling a little fuzzy in my thoughts again and am assuming it is the 'medicine' that is racing in my veins that is the culprit.
I was suddenly aware that this week I am withdrawing again mentally. I am a talker as many of you know. I like guts on the table and then sort out the truth...My AA sponsor (COS) taught me from day one to be brutally honest.
I am getting chemo pumped into my body weekly and I am expecting to feel normal! The height of grandiosity. God has truly protected me but my body is still flesh and blood. Throw in the fact that my beloved sister had a heart attack on Monday and my humanness REALLY took over.
Strange how reality shakes us out of our auto pilot mode. I sent out prayer requests and everyone responded immediately. I dropped to my knees and started praying in her behalf. I pushed back the tears like a good little care giver. Talk about a helpless feeling! I helped take care of her when she had her first one about 5 or 6 years ago. This time it is not going to be that way because her wonderful children have stepped in to help their mother. AND I can't be there until my chemo is done. So guess what? The world goes on with out me! HA! I had to get off of the throne and let God get back on....He totally took care of her and she is home as I am writing this. After talking with her, I know that she is on the mend because her language is very colorful again!!!
So anyway, enough about her, now back to me : ). I came home and took a nice 2 hour nap but I woke up with a stomach ache and my body felt shakey. Grrrr, # 11 is trying to be a little different than the other treatments...or wait! Maybe it was the Cajun food that I had for lunch with fried pickles as appetizers...ugh...doesn't even sound good right now.
Next week is my last one and I am thrilled!
Memo to me....Let go and Let God do what only He can do (bucket head)
Aug.2012
Mark and I ready for Blades wedding
The first ring
Dec. 7 2011
the bell of Victory!
Reading the plaque
Patients ring this bell on their last treatment.
6 comments:
Great read Mother dear! I sometimes feel that we humans are like the man on Wizard of Oz. Hidiing behind a curtain, working displays of wonder, appearing indestructable and never showing a weakness. Then...busted! Just a human. Just so hard to say and to truly believe I am not actually in control!:) I also believe there are some "super humans" out there, with strength and faith that show the rest of us it is ok to lean completely on God, He will not let us go. You are one of the supers Mama. Especially because you show your "human" to all of us. So glad one left! Looking forward to you having a break! Love you!
check check can everyone commment?
Hola, was finishing my show before attempting this damn blog that doesn't take my comments. THIS IS A TEST!!
Hey! It worked!! But now I don't have anything profound to express since I tried posting 3 times...the thoughts are all gone
I just can't believe all the different foods you eat and I'm the one with the bad ticker! Now tell me, is this fair? Love ya
Ok Prima I have done this at least three times and maybe this one will work. When you wrote Dear Delfina I thought "OK she now realizes how little I know about computers.
Oh and as Rachel says maybe thats why our family all have bad tickers and not just from inherited genes. We love our food!!!
I am happy for you almost being done with the chemo and I hear radiation is easy compared to chemo. Keep your faith in God and your positive attitude and let God do the rest.
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