Chemo -Done!

My last treatment was almost ant-climactic. I don't know what I thought I would feel except that it felt like any other day.  I felt sort of sad that I would not see Deanna weekly and would not get to sit in my cushy chair to snooze if I wanted but all in all I am very grateful.  So many people to thank at Sletten , they were all amazing and caring people.  God hand picked every one of them to be in my life and to take part in my care.

Whitney and Kay showed up toward the end of my session and we all went out for lunch after wards.  We laughed and talked and remembered how I cried a little at the very first chemo treatment as Nurse Deanna explained what was going to happen...Funny, I don't remember her explaining anything to me.  I only remember how much it hurt to have the port accessed because I had just had it put in the day before and I was swollen and raw!!!  I think I remember Deanna saying that it looked pretty sore but she thought that she could still get it in.....I must have blacked out after that because I don't remember her sitting down with us to explain the procedure. WAIT...there is a memory of  both Summer and Whitney being there as well as the brothers-in-law (Mark and Bruce) .  Deanna thought that Bruce was my brother NOT my ex-husband!  HA!  Laughter even in the beginning :)

Yesterday Dr. M prescribed some kind of beta blocker for my blood pressure (has been a little high) especially since he heard that my sister had her first heart attack in her early 50's and just had another one this last week.  He also gave me some kind of estrogen blocker. I didn't know that old women still produced estrogen but I guess we do and if there are any cancer cells left, cancer likes estrogen...I thought the radiation would take care of that but he said that he would probably keep me on this for the rest of my life because of the size of my tumor.  It may cause me to have hot flashes (oh yay) and that he WANTS me to have them because it means that it is working. He also happened to throw in "Dr. W will take your port out soon.  It is a very simple office procedure. Painless".... Barney Fife look again for me!  If it is so painless why did I have to go to the hospital and get knocked out to have it put in?  OH NO!  That is all I heard after that and I have been fighting off little panic attacks....where are those anti- anxiety pills he gave me?

Next he said that I will be seeing a radiology oncologist on Monday the 17 of this month.  Before that I will visit my primary care physician and she will give me the dreaded 'female' exam. :(

Right after those two appts. Mark and I are off to Lewistown to visit Dana, Summer,  Autumn and Dominic for a couple of days.  I will slip away one of the days that I am there to go to Billings to visit my sister and come home that evening.  I have much to do while I am on chemo break.


I love this time of the year because somehow it feels cozy to me.  There are some feelings of nostalgia that come with this time of the year but I rather like it.  I think of how my mother would sit at the window and the tears would run down her face as she saw the leaves turning yellow and the flowers were dying.  She seemed sad but now I feel that Fall was just not her favorite time of the year.  I miss her so much.  I get to see her every time I look in the mirror :)  My curly white hair is just like she liked her perms to look!  AND I look like her :)  

All is well in my world today...it is exactly as it should be.  To God be the Glory.