This morning we found out that there is cancer in the chest muscle where the tumor was. The dr. said that there was also cancer in one of the lymph nodes that were removed. I can honestly tell you that when Dr. Martin asked me if I had any questions for him, I could not think of any because I was sort of in shock. He said that they could go in again and take the cancer out of the muscle but it would incapacitate the left arm. Mmm...Naw, I don't think so. (He agreed) He said he really feels that if we do the chemo and radiation followed by hormone therapy that we have a good chance of beating this... I had an out of body feeling right about here. You mean there is a chance I might NOT beat this? Wait a minute here....I did not sign up for this AND I want my money back! (and my boobs too while you are at it! My hair too please and thank you very much.)
HA! If only it was that easy...so odd how I feel so at peace with this. Something really good had better come out of all of this and I mean it God! ! !
Mark is on the phone right now talking with the wife of a dear friend who is in the emergency room fighting for his life. If he makes it through the night, they will have a long road ahead of them as well. We are blessed...
Flash lights, pray for my Mark. He is struggling and it is because he is so worried about me.
There is going to be great healing in more than just the physical I believe. I think that this journey is beginning to show many of us how precious our relationships are here on earth. We must never assume that everyone in our life will be here forever. I am so grateful for my friends and family. We have had someone cook us dinner every night since I got home from the hospital. How cool is that?
Dr. Martin said that I have really gone through the worst as far as my treatment goes (man I hope he is not sugar coating this ) He said that I will start weekly chemo therapy on July 27 and it will be for 12 weeks. Radiation will be daily for 6 weeks after that. Wow...
Peace fills my soul...peace fills my soul...peace fills my soul...
Aug.2012
Mark and I ready for Blades wedding
The first ring
Dec. 7 2011
the bell of Victory!
Reading the plaque
Patients ring this bell on their last treatment.
7 comments:
Oh Mother, I love you so much. I have been behind on the blog and have missed it. Even though I talk to you your written word is so powerful and honest. You are beating this and God is working wonderful things! I thought the same too that the surgery was it, downhill road from there. Selfishly I want this over NOW! But we must still be learning something. Already your experience has touched so many people and mended relationships that weren't broken but bruised. I do not envy your journey but am grateful that you are sharing it. I love you!
Julie, I too had hoped that after surgery it was all downhill from there. I can not express how much your fight and your sharing this battle has caused me to take pause and realize what an absolutely amazing lady you are! I am so mightily blessed and honored to have you for a friend and someone I could always confide in with so many of life's struggles! My heart aches so much to be able to "do more" for you! You remember me...lil miss fix it...only I can't fix this!! Is this where we let go and let God? Please know that through your journal we have shared many many tears, and my prayers for you and Mark are continual! I share all of your posts with Smitty (like you do with Mark) and we both have our hearts and our arms around you both! We love you so much! These flashlights are still shining bright for you!
Love, Carla
Love you Julie and Mark. Melanie & George
Julie, thank you for this post. Your family and friends comments give us a blessing as well. We know you can do this, just wish it was easier. We weren't expecting this result for you, but your Dr. seems like he is a good one, and our God is great. I felt you and Mark the other night as we learned about our dear friend pass before us. What utter shock and ache, combined with all you are going thru. We just feel blessed we have had him as part of our life journey. Love to you and Mark, love, Patti and Tom
There have been many times in the past three years I have thought, is it worth it? Why am I going through the effort to stay alive? Why am I wasting my time when I know my life span has been cut in half? I am 59 years old, but because I was diagnosed so late in life and with all my meds the aging process has been accelerated and I have the body of someone 69, and at very high risk for cancers. I think these things, then I remember you and your courage and hope. So I tell myself to snap out of it and stop being such a big sissy. I wish I had your faith. But you do inspire me. I pray and think about you all the time and I know we will be talking to each other and laughing. I will probably be looking up at you since I know you will surely be in heaven, and my destination is dubious. (Sorry, more silly humor!) Loving and praying for you - Cousin Is.
Prima I am praying for you. I have realized in the last couple of years that no one should be taken for granted and no one will be here forever no matter how much we wish it. We just have to cherish the time we have left. I admire your positive attitude and your faith in God and you are an example for us all.
Hi Kids, Michele is here and entering this for me. Hope to see you All later this summer. Cats are in the barn, 4 days now, and porch is clean, looks better at least. Love you all and pray for you constantly. Everytime Aunt Dorothy goes by Kranzburg she lights a candle for you. Mom's best friend since high school passed away a couple months ago and has left her 2003 Mercury to mom. Sharon and Mike will be helping mom pick it up in Albert Lea next weekend.
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