Spring time in my life

I have been pressing buttons on this blog-a-ma-jig...can you tell?
HA!  let me see what did I do...
I  have been working in my yard for as long as my strength lasts (which is not nearly as long as I would like but I will take what ever I can get.  I love how I come inside exhausted from bending over and pulling weeds.  Although I can't use my left arm for much, my right one is a worthy adversary for the weeds that grew during last years sabbatical.  I have raked and raked and get a nice little pile of weeds ready for the big black bag and from out of nowhere a little blonde 2 1/2  year old comes plowing through them!  It seems to be Logan's calling in life to jump in the middle of my neat piles of dry leaves.  Julianna found a really old hammer buried in the dirt and she is hammering a tree stump :)
Some men from the electric company came by to trim our trees that may or may not be in their lines.  They asked us if we needed any other trees trimmed and Mark asked them to cut down an old tree that had been struck by lightning once and has  never been the same...he said sure we can do that!  Then Mark asked if they could cut down the pesky cottonwood that produces 'bushels' of cotton in the late spring and early summer as well as 'millions' of aphids that drop aphid juice all over the yard and anything or anyone that is under it.  'Yes, that is no problem" said the friendly tree trimmer.  Mark asked that thy leave the willow tree next to the cottonwood because it is healthy and quite lovely.   Well.........I went out to check on the work they had done and the old lightning struck tree was gone...nice.   BUT the willow tree that was just coming into it's own after years of struggling was gone...poof!  AND....the cottonwood tree is standing tall and proud and singing praises to the Lord for sparing it again!  GRRRRR.  Surely there is something that I can spray on it so that it does not produce cotton!  Help!
 No biggie.  I am alive and I am able to work in my yard and I feel good.  My grand children will be able to once again run and play in my yard as I dig in the dirt.  I now have to wear a hat and wear this arm thingy, plus wear gloves always so that I don't get a scratch or cut and risk infection on that lymphless arm.   Actually I only had 13 taken out and I think we have alot more than that but I guess it is still not good to get an infection.
Mark and I spent a few days in Lewistown with Dana and Summer and Autumn and Dominic a few weeks ago.  It was very enjoyable to watch how Dommie LOVED to be with his Papa.  No one else existed when Mark would walk in.  Summer, Autumn and I worked outside while they watched tv.  I do love that they are only a short drive away from us.  
My Lupe and Bella love when I go outside as well.  It must seem to them like I abandoned them last year.  My faithful little mutts.
Life is good.
I am grateful and have much work to do.  But first I think I will rest, all of a sudden I am tired.
Logan and Jonah both have croup and since Whit and Ryan were going to take them to the circus, Mark and I are taking Julianna to it tonight.  She is spending the day and the night, maybe the weekend with us because the docs said to keep the sick ones away from the healthy ones. She and her PaPa are napping right now.  
Yes, life is truly good.
 

and the beat goes on

Almost a month and no blogging....getting complacent?  I guess I think that I am done writing because I am finished with last year.   However, the evidence that my body has been through quite a battle is very apparent.  Not just the scars that have replaced my breasts, but my aching joints from the anti hormone drug that I am on and NOW, my eyelashes are falling out again!  I am down to about 5 on one eyelid and maybe 6 or if I am really counting, maybe 7 on the other.  My friend that went through the same thing a few months before me had just told me a few weeks ago that her eyelashes were falling out again and I wondered if that would happen to me as well....well, wonder no more....chicken eye lids!

If you were tracking me, you would notice that my foot prints have been very zig zaggy for the last month or so.  I have been the great wanderer trying to find my right niche again.  I have not really been trying very hard to fit in any where but I was feeling a little confused and sort of lost there for a while.  

I have started spending my first waking moments in prayer and asking God for guidance for the day.  After prayer, I read a psalm and do a study on what I have read.  It seems to have brought my focus back to my first love, God, and taken it off of the almighty ME.  It feels right.  I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me.

Every day seems to bring me a little bit more of emotional strength and mental clarity.  I have a tendency to isolate because I don't want to reveal anything to anyone that they may use against me at a later date ....just as I am typing this I realize that paranoia has been my close companion for a little while as well.   Geez, talk about a looney tune! 

As I write this, I know that I can now say, " Last year was a very scarey time for me ".  I know that I was not alone but you know what I am saying...Little Miss Much Afraid...that was me. 
I can now say that I made it and it was ALL because of prayers and God's mercy.

So moving right along- Mark and I have been busy with little finishing touches on our little pad.  I feel alive again with anticipation of the future. I am not 100% yet but it feels so good to be alive and feel like doing something around here.  Mark and I do our 'busy' work around our nap schedules so it is slow but our home will be finished soon.  Then it is time to work on the patio....

Thank you Lord for my life.

I am Woman...

Happy Valentines day!  Today is the day!  Well, maybe this evening is or maybe tomorrow but I am one step closer to squaring off with one of my unrealistic fears....I am making cut out sugar cookies!!!!  I have only made them (or attempted to make them) once in all of my life.  It was a disaster!!! As I recall,  the making of the dough took way too long and I had a terrible time getting the dough out of the cookie cutter.  This year I bought a very pretty, bright red, heart shaped cookie thingy.   My life has been a little on the busy side so I did not get the cookies made before Valentines day.  I had grandiose plans of gifting my little treasures on this day but obviously I have found other things to do to keep me away from my fear of failure.....like blogging when I have nothing of interest to share :)  See how this works....procrastinate long enough and I don't make Valentine cookies until next year.   However the dough is made and it was remarkably easy.  It is now in the refrigerator for 3 hours as per the recipe.  Let's see, that will be after my bedtime which is 10:00 and I still need to roll out the dough AND then cut them out AND bake them!  Way too late!  I DO need to take care of myself and get a good nights rest.  Yes, that excuse is perfect!

HEY!  Fruit pizza!  I use sugar cookie dough for that!  Easy peasy....or.....I could cut out Easter egg cookies :(
Maybe shamrocks for St. Patrick's day....how long does cookie dough last in the frig?

A very peace filled day today.  Oh how I wish I could bottle my peace and share it.    God has given me another chance at this life and "live it" I must do!  So many hurting people and that burden is not for me to carry.  I need to lay all of this that scurries around in my head at the foot of the cross.  God is the only one that can do ALL things.  What a relief that is...

I need to go and ponder what I will do about the cookie dough that is calling out to me from the refrigerator.

Again, Happy Valentines day to you all!

What a month this has been!  Mark and I have been cleaning out Steve's apt. and putting some of his things in storage so his kids can go through them at a later date.  
Steve's funeral service was packed with so many people that he had touched in one way or another.  Mark and I were asked to be 2 of  the pall bearers.  We were honored to help carry his earthly body to its resting place. 


It still seems very unreal to me that we will not see him here again.
  
One morning I woke up with the thought that it is time to move on.   I think it was the morning after we had finished cleaning his place and gone out to dinner in his honor.  We were all pretty grubby but we did not care because we were finally DONE!  We took turns sharing stories of the outrageous stuff that we have experienced at the hands of Steve Seidel ;)  Once in a while I would notice that someone would get a little misty eyed but quickly recovered with another belly laugh.

Anyway, the morning after, I felt that it was time to 'look to this day for it is good '.

Tonight Mark and I are playing grandma and grandpa and it will be fun!  Life does go on and guess what?  So does Love.  Our love will go on for Steve even if he is not here with us physically.

Our new digs are coming along nicely and my sister is working on some tile designs for the back splash around my kitchen counter.   Sounds very ethnic!  I have chosen to throw in a little Mexican flair here and there...surprized?   I have absolutely no artistic imagination so I am sort of at her mercy....which I hate.  I am the big sister you know.

In a couple of weeks I go in for some blood work to see if all of the cancer cells were killed with the treatments.  I am confident that they are dead as dead can be but I guess I will have to go in every 6 months for check ups for a while. 

I am not feeling 100% yet but pretty dang close!    There are daily reminders that I have been through quite a battle and that I cannot get complacent about my recovery. 


Guess I gotta get off of this because I just lost a very witty paragraph and I can't remember what it was.  Wonder where it went? I pressed the wrong key maybe.


My grand babies are ALL gorgeous...all five of them!  


Good night all!