Woke up a little nostalgic today. I think that is the word for the 'feeling' that is going on.
I am finding that I am beginning to border on hypochondria in my thoughts....and I hate that! I took my compression sleeve off last night and I immediately felt a pain shoot up between my shoulder blades!!!! OMG is that a blood clot racing through my arteries?! Is this a heart attack? I thought women don't feel pain when they experience a heart attack! OMGosh, I better go sit down so I don't drop to the floor and hurt myself...please don't let me feel pain before I go home to be with you Father.....and on and on it went for quite awhile! I never mentioned it to Mark because he might make me go to the hospital and 'they' might tell me that I AM HAVING A HEART ATTACK!!!! HA! Night time is awful for me....the mind is really like a dangerous neighborhood.... I finally took my meds and went to sleep...and I woke up this fine Monday still here on planet earth ;) Like my friend Kay says, "spring broke-no clang clang"..... that's me on occasion.
I am delivering cookies to Peace Hospice for the cookie plate party that they have every year. They need around 120 doz. cookies! Whit and I baked cookies yesterday . It was quite fun for me because I felt so normal making rosettes and visiting with Mark over the mounting pile of yummy little delicacies.
God has so richly blessed me and now I am praying for a sound mind. I wonder if that is the chemo and radiation working its way out of my system or if I am just getting a little bit koo koo? Either way, I know that God did not give me the spirit of fear and that is what I am fighting now. Or at least I was last night....gee, that was quite the battle.
Aug.2012
Mark and I ready for Blades wedding
The first ring
Dec. 7 2011
the bell of Victory!
Reading the plaque
Patients ring this bell on their last treatment.
4 comments:
Prima** I am so happy for you. I will keep praying that you will be healthy from here on. You deserve it because you have a good heart. ** Fina
"This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine. This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine, let it shine let it shine let it shine!" We are all still here Mama. Still praying and still with you even in the middle of the darkest moments...Or when your about to pad the rooms incase you fall:) Love you!
Oh, remember the scene in "On Golden Pond" where he falls with a box of china and thinks he's had the big one or a stroke or something, and they sit there on the porch floor until they finally realize he is still alive and ok? I think we all have those fears and moments as we age. We know it's gonna happen at some moment, and we're scared that this may be the moment. We just have to live each moment, each day, as though it will be our last, BUT WITHOUT THAT DEBILITATING NAGGING FEAR! Lord, please take those fears from us old people, and let us live fully in You each day, so that we may fulfill Your purpose for our lives. Thank You, Lord, and I praise You, my awesome God!
AMEN WildWoman AMEN! Well said :) I love you Janice.
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