I sailed through # 4 chemo today except Nurse Deanna could not draw blood from my port which is not a big deal but she was a little puzzled because we tried all of the ''tricks".
I had made a couple of fruit pizza's last night and took one into the chemo staff! I must say that it was quite gorgeous! Lots of strawberries, blueberries, kiwi, and mandarin oranges ( they were the big flower in the middle)and raspberries. We ate the smaller of the two pizzas last night before bed and I polished off the left over sugar cookie dough. The spirit of Wild Woman was in the cockles of my mind but I kept ignoring her :) shoo fly don't bother me came to mind. Maybe she won't read this.....She did say I have choices...;)
ANYWAY, I woke up with a sugar headache and I could feel that I was a little puffier around my middle and face. Immediately I start plotting...hmmm, how can I NOT look like I gained weight this morning? I decided that my wig must weigh close to a pound, socks weigh something, long pants weigh a little more and I know!!!...NO JEWELRY ! Yep, you guessed it! I wore a hat, no wig and I took the hat off before I climbed on the scale. I would have stood there buck or butt (which is it anyway) naked if I could have. I gained half a pound :(
My shoes matched, I would have taken those off except that my big toe nails are gone and they look gross. My feet look like Hobbitt feet except no hair on the knuckles. Ugly.
I wish I could say that everyday is a wonderful day but I would be lying. There are days as of late that I feel a little fatigued and I have had some sores in my mouth. I have been gargling with soda/salt water and the sores are almost gone. The dr. asked me today if I have been feeling any tingling in my feet or hands and I have not. She was very happy to hear that. Nurse Deanna told me that people do lose their hair with the chemo that I am receiving but sometimes they don't.
I jumped on 'sometimes they don't'.
I am growing tired of putting something on my head but it is not a big deal and I certainly am not complaining because God has been so faithful and kind to me. I am at peace with my life but I tell you what, sometimes I have to read off a gratitude list because my human condition is very fickle and ungrateful. Forgive me Father.
Oh yes, my blood pressure is high this week so Mark and I really do need to start walking. He for his back and me for my bp. I also need to let go of things and people that I have no control over.
I have had a really good week and I wish that I could take the time to name all of the people that have blessed me with some random act of kindness or an encouraging word but the list would be way long.
Some highlights however were:
Wild Woman came in to Set Free and we had such an awesome visit...I felt like a weight had lifted off of my shoulders just by visiting with her.
Good visit with the COS (my crazy old sponsor from Lewistown). Almost 28 years ago she kept me sane and sober for just another 24 hrs.
Some really good belly laughs with my sister (the poser bad ass) and of course my two beautiful daughters that give their old mom a reason to keep fighting this disease.
AND guess what, I have almost perfect use of my left arm!
My physical therapist said that tomorrow will be my last visit with her!!! PTL!!!
1 John 5:14-15
It is because of all of your prayers! Thank you! Love you all and good night!
Aug.2012
Mark and I ready for Blades wedding
The first ring
Dec. 7 2011
the bell of Victory!
Reading the plaque
Patients ring this bell on their last treatment.
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
3 chemo treatments down - 9 to go
Off we went to Sletten, I was feeling a little tired but knowing that this will be my routine for awhile I am able to make the 15 min. drive to be poked and prodded.
I thought that I looked fairly cute in my cute capris and tank top and little sweater with cute little brown shoes with a brown bow on them. My wig looked exceptionally attractive as I styled it differently and my earrings were to die for...No vanity here but it does keep trying to make a reappearance.
ANYWAY, Mark and I are sitting in the waiting room and I am reading yet another cancer survivor magazine and I cross my legs and uncross them which is what I do when I am trying to wait patiently. All of a sudden all of the lights go out and the city of Great Falls is in a black out.
I get called to the back where there is a generator I am thinking because there were lights back there. Sue put me in a room to wait for nurse to access my port. I am all alone and I look down at my feet and I notice...Hey, I thought I had brown shoes on with a bow....I put my right foot out and sure enough there was the brown shoe with a bow on it....bring my left leg out and ....THIS IS A BLACK SHOE! No bow and it has a little heel, my brown is flat! Did I not notice that I walked funny? Mark said that he noticed it in the waiting room but did not want to say anything to me. I busted out a huge GUFFAW of laughter and brought a few nurses in to find out what sort of spell had come over me! Everybody rolling around on floor with laughter :) So next is Dr. M's office where he has to check me in the dark with the door open and he has a med student with him. He checks the usual stuff but this time he has me pull my feet out so he can check for edema on my ankles....yep, you guessed it...he kept looking at my feet. He even got down a little closer because I think that he thought his eyes were playing tricks on him because of the dark. More laughter...He said, "they don't even LOOK kind of alike...chemo brain". Too funny. Off to chem I go.
Chemo was very uneventful. My faithful Mark was there and we visited for awhile before I dozed off. Then I woke up and we talked some more. We are so grateful to have one another for this incredibly difficult journey that has been so blessed with peace and grace. Not only do we look different but we truly feel different than we did when we were married almost 29 years ago.
There were so many really rough roads for us and we just kept hanging on to one another hoping that it would get better. Hope and Faith are God's crowbars.
Hope and Faith will get us through this because God knows that we are trusting Him and Him alone.
Have a great nights sleep flashlights and firefly. I love you all.
I thought that I looked fairly cute in my cute capris and tank top and little sweater with cute little brown shoes with a brown bow on them. My wig looked exceptionally attractive as I styled it differently and my earrings were to die for...No vanity here but it does keep trying to make a reappearance.
ANYWAY, Mark and I are sitting in the waiting room and I am reading yet another cancer survivor magazine and I cross my legs and uncross them which is what I do when I am trying to wait patiently. All of a sudden all of the lights go out and the city of Great Falls is in a black out.
I get called to the back where there is a generator I am thinking because there were lights back there. Sue put me in a room to wait for nurse to access my port. I am all alone and I look down at my feet and I notice...Hey, I thought I had brown shoes on with a bow....I put my right foot out and sure enough there was the brown shoe with a bow on it....bring my left leg out and ....THIS IS A BLACK SHOE! No bow and it has a little heel, my brown is flat! Did I not notice that I walked funny? Mark said that he noticed it in the waiting room but did not want to say anything to me. I busted out a huge GUFFAW of laughter and brought a few nurses in to find out what sort of spell had come over me! Everybody rolling around on floor with laughter :) So next is Dr. M's office where he has to check me in the dark with the door open and he has a med student with him. He checks the usual stuff but this time he has me pull my feet out so he can check for edema on my ankles....yep, you guessed it...he kept looking at my feet. He even got down a little closer because I think that he thought his eyes were playing tricks on him because of the dark. More laughter...He said, "they don't even LOOK kind of alike...chemo brain". Too funny. Off to chem I go.
Chemo was very uneventful. My faithful Mark was there and we visited for awhile before I dozed off. Then I woke up and we talked some more. We are so grateful to have one another for this incredibly difficult journey that has been so blessed with peace and grace. Not only do we look different but we truly feel different than we did when we were married almost 29 years ago.
There were so many really rough roads for us and we just kept hanging on to one another hoping that it would get better. Hope and Faith are God's crowbars.
Hope and Faith will get us through this because God knows that we are trusting Him and Him alone.
Have a great nights sleep flashlights and firefly. I love you all.
Saturday, August 6, 2011
Play date with some grandbabies
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| Dominic 6mnths |
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| making tortillas |
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| Julianna 3yrs |
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| Logan 2yrs |
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| "Hang on kiddos!" |
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| Cheese! Autumn 2yrs, Logan and Julianna |
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| Ryan |
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| eat your heart out Martha Stewart |
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
Chemo # 2
Mark and I went to my appt ready to sleep the day away...I got whisked in to the chemo room by ' bad port karma nurse" and she said 'don't worry I am not going to access your port, we are getting one of the chemo nurses to do that'. I got the feeling ever so slightly that she is scared of trying to access my port. I felt bad for her, so next week I am going to take her a little card or a treasure of some sort. I think that I have a little more work on my co-dependency issues :) I got Debbie and she has done chemo nursing for 15 years as well. She does not take it personally when she has someone that she has bad 'port karma' with. Nice lady. I think that it is kind of like we all have some one that we just don't click with for some reason. Nurse Sue just does not click with my port! HA!
Dr. M lowered my adavan dosage in my chemo cocktail so I did not lose the whole day sleeping. I slept while I was there and I felt like I had a nice nap when we left. Nurse Deanna gave me my treatment. Mark and I went to lunch and then came home to take our naps;) I got up and mowed the lawn with Julianna and kept working out side for awhile. Then I rested in my swing and read some of my book.
God is faithful Flashlights and Firefly! I do not feel sick or even tired. Dr. M said once again ( like he wants me to remember ) that the chemo may gang up on me in a month or two and that I may get very fatigued but he is glad that ( in his words) I am high energy and that I seem to be tolerating the treatment very well. (wink wink). It is all the Lord and His mercy.
I hope my energy keeps up as we have Mark's family coming to visit at the end of the month and the beginning of Sept. If not, Mark is on his own. :)
Today was a good day just like last week was.
I got this text from one of my flashlights this morning: YOU SHALL FORGET THE DAYS OF ILLNESS IN THE JOY OF VICTORY, BUT I YOUR LORD AND SAVIOUR SHALL MYSELF BECOME YOUR VICTORY.
Awesome!
Dr. M lowered my adavan dosage in my chemo cocktail so I did not lose the whole day sleeping. I slept while I was there and I felt like I had a nice nap when we left. Nurse Deanna gave me my treatment. Mark and I went to lunch and then came home to take our naps;) I got up and mowed the lawn with Julianna and kept working out side for awhile. Then I rested in my swing and read some of my book.
God is faithful Flashlights and Firefly! I do not feel sick or even tired. Dr. M said once again ( like he wants me to remember ) that the chemo may gang up on me in a month or two and that I may get very fatigued but he is glad that ( in his words) I am high energy and that I seem to be tolerating the treatment very well. (wink wink). It is all the Lord and His mercy.
I hope my energy keeps up as we have Mark's family coming to visit at the end of the month and the beginning of Sept. If not, Mark is on his own. :)
Today was a good day just like last week was.
I got this text from one of my flashlights this morning: YOU SHALL FORGET THE DAYS OF ILLNESS IN THE JOY OF VICTORY, BUT I YOUR LORD AND SAVIOUR SHALL MYSELF BECOME YOUR VICTORY.
Awesome!
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