Amazing how fast our lives get back to the way they were before THE crisis. My breasts are just a memory and all that is left are two huge scars on my chest to remind me that I really did have boobs! My clothes fit totally differently and I don't think that anyone notices that I am flat chested except for the odd little pooch that my sternum makes under my blouses. People ask me how I am and I say 'great'! If I'm not so great, I say 'good' but I put a phoney lilt in the way that I say it. (Some things will never change)
I have continued going to the 'Our Journey' group and am enjoying it. I have also started going to a meditation group and have found it to be one of the hardest things that I have ever tried to do. I was a little leery of it at first because I am uncomfortable with 'woo woo' stuff but this is not like that at all. I did not know how to quiet my mind and just focus on my breathing. My mind races everywhere! I finally got the hang of it and it is indeed quite relaxing.
I have been staying very busy with all of the 'stuff' that I do but when I hit a wall, I sit down and rest....feels good.
I am working on letting others live their lives and live my own in peace and joy. I find that nearly impossible especially when a loved one is suffering from their own issues. My friends and family mean everything to me and I forget that what they are going through is their own story or as I heard once...their own journey back to the Lord. I feel a survivor guilt type of feeling when my life is on an even path and others are suffering.
For now, the biggy for me is keeping my thoughts as positive as I can and keeping my distance from negative people (and they are everywhere).
I had blogged yesterday but when I saved it, it went "out there" somewhere.
I have had my 3 and 6 month check ups and they have been AOK! God is good!
I have neuropathy in my feet and sometimes in my hands and little aches and pains here and there but hey...I'm alive ;)
Going to church and then dig in my flower beds and see what this day brings. This is the day that the Lord has made, I WILL rejoice and be glad in it!
Aug.2012
Mark and I ready for Blades wedding
The first ring
Dec. 7 2011
the bell of Victory!
Reading the plaque
Patients ring this bell on their last treatment.
3 comments:
I love your honesty. You are a survivor that is so humble I hope to live my life with your faith...um, but without the boob job please;) I love you Mother. I love that you are you and that you are MINE:) Happy 4th of July!
I had thought about some type of meditation also to help with some of my anxious feelings and flightiness....but knowing me I would fall asleep, my head drop back so I would "snore" myself awake and startle me and let out a big fart! So much for peacefulness.....Love you
Longtime no hear from U. This is a GOD THING. I turned on my computor and there you were. I didn't even Blog U. Must mean that I need to pray for you right here and now. THANK YOU JESUS FOR SUCH A BEAUTIFUL FRIEND. PLEASE TAKE CARE OF HER AND HER FAMILY. From your Firefly
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