Give thanks

Yesterday was our first Thanksgiving without our friend/brother Steve.  We could all feel the void that his death left us with as we started gathering in the kitchen to check out all of the food that had been placed on the counter.  The comment was made several times that it felt like half of our 'crew' is missing and it is only one person!  Some one brought a sweet potato casserole (which had become Steve's dish to bring) and when I saw it, my eyes welled up with tears.  I noticed a few other misty eyed people so I knew they were thinking of him as well. 
He would blow in like a huge gust of wind had picked him up and dropped him at our door step.  Hair askew and a loud 'HOLA" (as only a non-Mexican can say hola) and he would come up the stairs.  Then he would put his sweet potato casserole front and  center of the rest of the food and ALWAYS he would bring baklava!  He would whip it out like it was a big surprise :)  Everyone would jump on the baklava and the look of delight on his face will always remain etched in my memory.  Almost immediately he would say to me, "what would you like me to do?" Thank you God for Steve.
Last year at this time my hair was just starting to look like a white mini afro and my hope was that the Lord would help me to make it through more radiation.  I am very thankful that I was able to enjoy another Thanksgiving with most of my family and that I am cancer free. 
It's back to my pilates on Monday.  I do them on my own and then my instructor gets to show me the correct way of doing them when I meet with her.  My biggest challenge is that I want to hurry up and do them.  I must slow down. 
I don't remember if I have blogged since my anxiety attack during my brain MRI.  I have had a couple since then and I have no clue why I have started having them at this age.  I guess it is sort of like post traumatic stress....Dr. M was not at all surprised so I guess I should just roll with it as well. He changed one of my meds that has some steroids in it and I feel much more sane.
Most of my days are filled with busy stuff and most days are good days but I am not going to say that they are ALL good.  I am still in recovery and it will be a while before I feel 100%.  My toes are still numb and painful from the chemo and I have some nasty charlie horses in my lower legs.  I could go on and on about my woes as far as my body goes but not today.....I am  so very grateful for my family and friends that have continued to pray for me and allowed me to become accustomed to my new normal.  I really don't recognize the critter that I have become!! HA! 
Almost every day Mark and I grab each others hands and say "it's you and me babe" and off we go to find something to get into :) Today, however, we are going to do nothing, absolutely nothing.
Happy day after Thanksgiving!